This Golfer Is Finally Caught in a Bad Lie

Robert Atwater conned his way into the SBC Senior Classic in March 2001, conned the Senior PGA Tour about his age and conned The Times into doing a story about him.

Now he is a con -- as in convict.

Atwater pleaded guilty to a federal drug charge Tuesday. Atwater had been a fugitive since a July 1990 indictment for money laundering and drug trafficking. He faces a minimum 10 years in federal prison.

Atwater played the SBC Senior Classic at Valencia Country Club under the name Darren Muarry. He drew attention at the tournament because he hit 300-yard drives with a cross-handed grip.

He caddied for SBC official Laura Woods the previous year and coaxed her into a sponsor exemption, then shot 85-82-79 and finished last.

Atwater had provided identification to tour officials that said his name was Darren Muarry and he was 50, the minimum age to play the event. Court records, however, show he was 49 at the time he played.

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Atwater’s defense attorney could not offer much information about his client, saying only, “He said he beat Tiger Woods.”

Sure thing, Bob.

Trivia time: Who was the last Miami player to win the Heisman Trophy?

Granddaddy of them all: The Hollywood Reporter notes that MGM is nearing a deal with Sylvester Stallone to write and star in “Rocky VI.” The story would find a 50-year-old Rocky lured out of retirement for a final fight.

No confirmation on this, but actors under consideration to play Rocky’s opponent are Wilford Brimley, Bob Hope, Marlon Brando and Leslie Nielsen.

Hall of shame: Former baseball commissioner Fay Vincent said if the ban on Pete Rose is lifted and the all-time hits leader is elected to the Hall of Fame, the plaque should indicate the gambling exploits that got Rose banned.

Good ol’ paperboys’ network: Apparently the New York Times isn’t the only paper pulling stories about the flap between Augusta National Golf Club and Martha Burk, who is crusading to get a female admitted to the Georgia club.

According to the Washington Post, the Augusta Chronicle moved a lengthy profile of Burk from the front page to Page 10 and pulled an accompanying question-and-answer story. The paper also refused to run a piece that urged the club to admit a woman.

Oh, one more thing. The owner and publisher of the paper, William “Billy” Morris, is a longtime Augusta member.

Trivia answer: Gino Torretta, 1992.

And finally: Keith Olbermann of ABC Radio wasn’t enthralled by the selection of Lance Armstrong as Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year, saying:

“Two years ago when Armstrong crossed picket lines to make a TV commercial, he rationalized it by saying he was a cancer survivor who had to look out for his family -- completely ignoring the fact that of hundreds of people who make a few thousand dollars a year making commercials, certainly some of them had cancer in their families and none of them considered themselves too special to dishonor the strike by a union which Armstrong had joined.”

-- Peter Yoon