LAUGH LINES

Sexy Seniors: “According to Jane magazine, the majority of sex phone operators are senior citizens. And you thought they were breathing heavy for an entirely different reason.” (Mark Wheeler)

Terms of Endearment: “Well, Anna Nicole Smith was on TV again. . . . She’s finally speaking out about her marriage to the late 90-year-old billionaire, Howard Marshall. . . . In fact, she said that the greatest moment in her life was when he whispered those three little words into her ear: ‘I can’t breathe.’ ” (Jay Leno)

The Pink Slip: “It seems Al Gore fired his makeup man after the debates. But there is good news. I hear he got his old job back as curator of the Hollywood Wax Museum. So, all is well.” (R.J. Johnson)

End of the Road: “Garth Brooks is divorcing his wife of 14 years. . . . Heck, a broken marriage is worth at least three albums in country music.” (Daily Scoop)

What’s on TV?: “While the [first Al Gore-George W. Bush presidential] debate was going on, the History Channel was showing a documentary called the ‘History of Sex.’ . . . Gee, I wonder which one Clinton was watching?” (Leno)

*

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.