LAUGH LINES

Just Like Old Times: “Former President George Bush was the headline entertainer at the GOP fund-raiser in Washington. He said he spent the last [few] years relaxing and playing golf and hunting. It’s like he never left the White House.” (Argus Hamilton)

An Average Joe: “A study in Men’s Health magazine lists the statistics of the average guy: He is 34, 5-foot-10, weighs 174 pounds . . . and he wouldn’t hit on Paula Jones on a dare.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Tee Time Alibi: Apparently, “somebody called 911 because O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend was beating him up. But the girlfriend denied it. . . . She said at the time of the alleged incident, she was in the backyard hitting golf balls. She knows nothing about it.” (Jay Leno)

Dorm Life: “In Boca Raton, Fla., the cost of living is so expensive that college professors are now being forced to live in the dorms. . . . At least that’s what they’re telling their wives.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)

That’s Entertainment!: “Critics are calling [the Tony Awards] New York’s most entertaining night of tears and tap dance since Rudy Giuliani’s last press conference.” (Bill Maher)

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