Some Ideas for Helping the NBA Smackdown

A letter to Dick Ebersol, Chairman, NBC Sports

Dear Dick:

I’ve waited as long as possible to get this off my chest, but with the National Basketball Assn. championship series beginning Wednesday, if there’s hope of a brighter future now feels like an opportune time to speak up.

I’m coming to you because, let’s face it, you’re running the show when it comes to pro basketball. NBA Commissioner David Stern tacitly acknowledged as much in interviews before the playoffs began, saying games were scheduled to accommodate NBC and TNT because the vast majority of fans now consume the NBA’s product on TV; indeed, unless the company’s buying, you need to take out a second mortgage to afford parking at a game these days, much less tickets.

So as long as NBC is calling the shots, why not flex your muscles and do what’s necessary to make the game entertaining for those tuning in at home? Because as it stands, the product you’re peddling is defective, and if the NBA doesn’t recognize it, perhaps you and your $1.6-billion broadcast rights fee can impress the point upon them.

For starters, someone needs to get serious about cleaning up the action, and the rules changes introduced this season were woefully inadequate. Enough already with the Greco-Roman wrestling that passes for defense, and games where the winner scores 73 points. If I want to watch a sport with that little scoring there’s always hockey or soccer, which at least has that guy who yells “Go-o-al!” for 20 minutes.

Think back to 1987, the last time Magic Johnson’s Lakers played Larry Bird’s Celtics for the NBA title. During that series, the Lakers didn’t score less than 100 points in a single game--including the two they lost. In one victory they rang up 141, a mark the New York Knicks and Miami Heat combined were hard-pressed to match in their latest showdown.

Getting players to stop body-slamming one another would not only boost point totals but bring back the athleticism and teamwork that can make basketball a beautiful thing to watch, in contrast to the free throw shooting contests--interrupted by what could be mistaken for “WWF Smackdown!”--we’ve been getting lately.

You might also want to use your clout with the league to mandate that draftees must play two years minimum of college or semi-pro ball before entering the NBA. Not only would this help college basketball--and thus the sport in general--but it would elevate the fundamental skill level in the pros. CBS, shelling out several billion dollars for NCAA TV rights, would doubtless be inclined to help lobby on this front, to your mutual benefit. Together, you might even convince the NCAA to consider allocating some of those billions to paying amateur athletes the stipends they deserve.

It’s no secret NBA shooting percentages stink, in part because teenagers don’t take time developing that ability before landing a seven-figure contract. Half the players don’t dribble all that well with their strong hand, let alone both, a talent even some of us height-challenged couch potatoes mastered on the schoolyard.

After that, it’s worth contemplating some genuinely ground-breaking new rules, among them one stating that star players--let’s say three per team--can no longer foul out of a game. It’s obvious the league already operates on a two-tiered system, and nobody is going to pay big bucks to watch the Lakers’ Travis Knight and Indiana’s Travis Best in place of Shaquille O’Neal and Reggie Miller, respectively. Heck, let’s just institute a rule that nobody named “Travis” should be allowed on the court unless the lead grows to more than 20.

It’s also time to stop pretending NBA employees have any say regarding the product you distribute and control. This year, for example, Stern tried to force-feed coaches a made-for-TV morsel that called for placing microphones in team huddles. Most coaches threw a fit, and the league temporarily backed off.

Now, while I personally understand why someone might object to having a microphone shoved in his face in the midst of doing his job, there’s clearly no room for such diplomacy in today’s high-stakes sports world, especially if you want to keep pace with such Fox-pioneered innovations as the “goalie-cam,” “catcher-cam” and the like. In fact, since men are your primary audience, why not hide lipstick cameras in the cheerleaders’ locker room? Just think--a game and Fox special rolled into one!

While we’re at it, there are ways for NBC to improve telecasts on your end, among them being more selective in the on-air talent you hire. At present, there seems to be an unfortunate rule that every former player and coach must get a chance in the broadcast booth after hanging up their sneakers and sports coats.

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Granted, NBA alumni bring a certain insider knowledge to the party, but they’re often too cozy with those on the court or sidelines to be truly provocative. In addition, is it too much to ask that these people be adept at communicating? Much as I admired Bill Walton and Isiah Thomas as players, aren’t there moments when you wonder if anyone has the foggiest idea what they’re talking about?

The same criticism frequently applies to other in-studio talent on “NBA Showtime,” which, in its Saturday morning form, the network categorizes as “educational programming.” (While some critics deride that designation, I’m with you on this. After all, where else are kids going to learn the intricacies of the pick and roll?)

The good news is the next NBA season is months away, so you have plenty of time to implement these proposals. You got lucky this year with the Lakers pulling out Sunday’s game, which should help ratings, but you can’t count on having a team situated in one of the top two TV markets making it into the finals every year--unless, of course, you really start rigging the outcome of games, as a few conspiracy theorists in Miami have suggested.

If you require any further incentive to push for an NBA overhaul, trust me, you’re going to need some goodwill with the press after this summer’s Olympics Games. Given that you have announced there will be no live telecasts of events because of the time difference between the U.S. and Sydney, Australia, media commentators and sportswriters--who tend not to be sucked in by personal stories set to tinkly piano music--are poised to rip your coverage in a manner that will make advance reviews of NBC’s prime-time lineup seem like a valentine.

On the plus side, it’s pretty hard to screw up the Olympics, what with all the international brotherhood and thrill of victory, agony of defeat stuff. Then again, the NBA looked like a sure winner a few years ago--when that Jordan fellow prompted everyone to wax eloquent about the league’s marketing genius--and look what you and your buddies have done to squander that.

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Brian Lowry’s column appears on Tuesdays. He can be reached by e-mail at [email protected].