Peachy Idea: Giving Parents a Few Plums

If I had a dime for every time I heard the common assertion “Parenting is the toughest, most important job in the world,” I’d be sipping iced tea from the Italian tile patio of my Newport Coast villa, surrounded by the good life.

Instead, I live paycheck to paycheck, just like most everyone else.

The job of parenting is indeed chock-full of hard work, overtime and going the extra mile for the child. We read all the parenting books, research parenting on the Web and attend parenting classes galore in order to do the job “right.”

Yet conspicuously absent from this devotion to our lifelong career as parents is a suitable compensation package for a job well done. Sure, twice a year, we’re royalty for a day, thanks to the greeting card industry’s need to turn a profit. But the other 363 days of the year, parents rarely are recognized for their efforts.

And while some people might scoff, “Well, you chose to have a child,” I’d like to point out that heralding parents and their most important job does impact our nation’s well-being.

Consider the sad and stubborn statistics of divorce and child abuse, which get grimmer every year. I’d bet my 401(k) plan that if society really compensated parents just as a company compensates valuable employees, these tragic numbers would subside. With a little creative thinking and a willingness to change the rules, there are ways to “pay” parents to show them we value their role.

For example, handicapped parking privileges for expectant mothers is one way the community can recognize the physical demands of raising children. Watch a woman in her ninth month of gestation try to squeeze her way out of the compact slot, and you’ll understand. It’s even more frustrating watching an occasional bearer of a “handicapped” sticker all but hopscotch to the front of a business establishment, while a mother struggles to get infants out of bulky car seats and scurries to keep toddlers out of traffic.

The next stop should be the grocery store. Anyone who has shopped with children knows the ordeal of preventing Junior from crashing into the mayonnaise display or dying from salmonella poisoning while poking at every meat and poultry package. And just as a parent thinks she’s home-free, behold the checkout counter with its array of attractive nuisances: candy, razor blades, Rug Rats lip balm and the obligatory cigarette cabinet. Throw in the evil eye from the cashier and the disapproving glances from the other patrons as your child opens a package, and you suddenly feel as if all thumbs are pointing down.

I’d like to see supermarkets welcome parents with on-site child care. Or compensate a frazzled parent by offering a discount on groceries. The same could be done at shopping malls. Sound unthinkable? Not to our neighbors across the Atlantic.

In England, parents shopping with small children automatically get 10% off their total at most major supermarkets. It gets better. Forget images from “Angela’s Ashes” and follow the good example of the Irish today. A friend of mine just moved there and says most shopping malls offer child care. Irish grocery stores go one step further by keeping children in their care centers while mom leaves the premises and grabs coffee for an hour, with groceries delivered home later in the day. Now that’s customer service for parents.

While we’re at it, take a look at movie theaters. Senior citizens and children get discounts on tickets. That’s because theater owners recognize their financial limitations and still want their business. Yet ask a parent how much it costs to catch a flick and you’re looking at no less than $25 for the cost of an evening sitter. But parents still pay full price at the box office. What’s wrong with that picture?

Part of the problem is that we’re a country that is over-focused on children and under-focused on parents. In fact, being a child in today’s world is the same as being a celebrity.

Walk into any restaurant, and notice the barrage of crayons, Happy Meals and balloons for the kids.

We feel compelled to shower children with extras and gifts, just because. But why can’t we share some of that passionate enthusiasm for the parents?

Remember, they have the toughest job in the world. Restaurants could offer a tired mom dining with wee ones a free cup of coffee, just because.

If we really believe that children are our future and that parents have the most important job in the world, red-carpet treatment for parents is the next phase of promoting family values. In turn, parents can start the process by educating the public about what needs to change.

I did just that at the market one day, as everyone glared at my son, who tore into some bubble gum. “One of these days,” I remarked to my audience, “we’re going to learn to just lock this stuff up.”