LAUGH LINES

And Your Point Is?: “President Clinton said . . . Al Gore’s done more than any other vice president in history. Is that really a compliment? . . . . I mean, that’s like the NBA giving a reward to the most valuable Clipper.” (Jay Leno)

Grin and Bare It: “It was National Nude Recreation Week recently. It’s the week when nudists from all over the country get together and celebrate nudity. . . . Boy, what’s casual Friday like at one of those things?” (Andrew Wisot)

Reel Reality: “The eyes of the world are now on Philadelphia. The police beat the crap out of somebody, and now they’re calling it the Philadelphia Rodney King. This guy . . . shot one of the cops, and they pulled him out of the car and beat . . . him. I’m not condoning the beatings, but it’s a lot more interesting than anything I’ve seen caught on those ‘Big Brother’ cameras.” (Bill Maher)

On the Fast Track: “Olympic track and field star Ben Johnson . . . once the fastest man in the world--lost $7,000 while in Rome. . . . A woman picked his pocket and ran off with his wallet. [He] tried to catch her but couldn’t catch her. Now the police want to arrest her. Arrest her? . . . Put her on the Olympic team!” (Leno)

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