A Diamond Idea Hits Dead End

Mention was made here of the rumor about a lone hearse driver ticketed for using the carpool lane despite his contention that there was another occupant--a corpse.

Traffic school instructor Hank Baylis says it’s true.

“Two years ago, a student in my class was cited for such a violation,” Baylis said. “He actually received three infractions. He was working for a mortician, driving the company hearse south on the congested 405, with a ‘client’ in back, when he noticed the diamond lane clear.

“He goes in the lane, across double-yellow lines, for his first $271 violation. Then, an officer, seeing no passenger, pulls him over for a second violation at $271. While pulling over, he crosses double-yellow for a third infraction at $271.”

The third infraction was dismissed, Baylis said. Still, it sounds like some reckless driving. Not that the other occupant had any complaints.

OLD FRIENDS: Joan Knaus, of Rancho Palos Verdes, noticed an ad for a “Rod Iron” patio set, which got me to thinking about the foolish theory that we’re becoming a nation of numbers. I don’t believe it. Over the years, I’ve collected several ads in which owners have actually given names to inanimate objects (see accompanying), from “Chester” drawers (submitted by Ann Luke) to “Chip & Dale” furniture (submitted by Jan Greer) to a “Hugh” yard sale (photo by Roger Beck).

ONE SCOOP THEY DIDN’T WANT: The father-son talk-show team of Ken and Rick Minyard has been dropped by KRLA-AM (1110), and the way they found out about it was a bit unusual.

It “was due to a screw-up at KRLA, [which] played a promo just before our show that promoted our replacement,” Ken told Don Barrett of laradio.com. “That kind of piqued our interest.”

I’m sure that Minyard’s many fans from the old days of the Ken and Bob Show on KABC-AM (790) are sending him and his son the message he made popular locally:

EGBOK.

TRANSLATION: Everything’s Gonna Be OK.

L.A. SINGLES: Excerpts from some personal ads with a Southern California flavor in LA Weekly:

* “Pamela Anderson figure, no tattoos, slim, brunette . . .”

* “Sweet, smart, pretty , TV producer, 34, 5-7, 115, looking for a man who’s adventurous, kind and works in the industry . . .”

* “David Cassidy, Rick Springfield, Johnny Depp. I love pretty boys . . .”

* “Meet one of the last natural blondes in L.A. . . .”

* “Wanted--Catherine Ziff type!” (Any relation to Catherine Zeta-Jones?)

* “I look like Moby meets Agassi meets Stipe meets Norton . . .”

* “Been told famous actress look-alike . . .”

Yes, but what famous actress?

THE OPPOSITE APPROACH: Then there’s the modest guy whose personal ad in LA Weekly proclaimed: “Fat, dumb, boring, insensitive WM, 40, seeking same in woman . . .”

miscelLAny:

The report here of a July 4 spill of a barbecue set on the Santa Ana Freeway prompted Paul Ecker, of Diamond Bar, to write: “I bet that day there were a lot of angry holiday motorists using propane language.”