Opinion: Overwhelmed? Underwhelmed? Whelmed? Send a dwindling-confidence card today!

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The news this week is all about less-than-full confidence. While Attorney General Alberto Gonzales still enjoys the President Bush’s ‘full confidence,’ outgoing World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz is not so lucky, with the cautious chief telling a press conference gaggle, ‘I regret that it’s come to this... All I can tell you is that Paul Wolfowitz has an interest in what’s best for the bank, for making sure that the bank focusses on things that matter.’ Commentators are making much of Bush’s decision not to reiterate his ‘full confidence’ in Wolfowitz, but as Dana Milbank noted a few years back, the Bush Administration’s Full Confidence can be as much an expression of support as the kiss of death is a gesture of affection.

How are we supposed to negotiate the tangled lianas of full and less-full confidence? More importantly, why aren’t we getting help from the people whose job is to help us put our inchoate thoughts into polished words? Hallmark puts out cards for such uncomfortable situations as ‘loss of a baby, the death of a child, military death, an unexpected death, a child who has lost a loved one...belief in life after death...’still thinking of you’...anniversary of a death...cards for someone late in learning of a death...pet sympathy cards for both cats and dogs,’ as well as greetings ‘marking a half birthday, becoming a U.S. citizen, adopting a baby, joining the military, celebrating a 100th birthday, acknowledging a divorce, getting a child potty-trained, and thanking a daycare provider.’ Why hasn’t the greeting-card giant rushed in to support leaders with weak spines? Some suggestions:

• Cover: Confidence?
• Inside: I’m full of it!

• Cover: In this difficult time...
• Inside: In the face of such pressure, we’re troubled by the mistakes you’ve made. Yet the solace you seek may not come from this office. So we look for comfort in the hope that we’ll be missing you soon.

• Cover: Thinking of you...
• Inside: ...but no longer stressing about it.

• Cover: Congratulations!
• Inside: Opportunities come and go, year by fruitful year; so best of luck, and don’t let the door hit you in the rear.

• Cover: ‘Support is like the constant moon...
• Inside: ‘...You can’t actually see it when the weather’s bad.’ — Khalil Gibran

• Cover: Your First Career Debacle
• Inside: The memories you’ve made today will follow you throughout your life. Unfortunately, I won’t.

• Cover: I’m behind you 100%
• Inside: The times when you only saw one set of footprints, my child, those were the times that I was hiding under a rock...

• Cover: There are no words for me to express my confidence in you...
• Inside: So I won’t. Good luck with your new girlfriend.